Cravings

Last night we had to make a special trip into town because I was hungry.  No, not hungry for the dinner that I didn’t finish, but hungry for cake.  Only cake would make me happy.  I thought it was silly to make a special trip into town, but Rick encouraged me to go anyway.  So we picked up one of the ready-made Marble cakes at Wal-mart, some of those drumstick ice cream thingies, and I also got some plain, light ruffles to go with my lunch because the Doritos I’d been eating stick with me all afternoon, which is a very bad thing.  I’ve found that most food with any amount of flavor is bad.  Even if it is a food I normally like.  But when we got home, I had cake, and all was happy.  Now I also have the choice of some ice cream!

Crazy night time symptoms

Night before last, when we had a big storm, was a crazy night!  I woke up at 1 something to go to the bathroom.  Then again at.. 12:30.  I thought I must have read the clock wrong the first time and that it was 10 or 11 something when I got up the first time.  Then I laid back down and tried to get back to sleep.  This is after all of my dreams have been about going through various buffet lines.  One after the other.  After laying awake awhile, I realize that I’m really hungry!  So when the clock said 1:11 I got up to eat a banana, and went to play on the computer for a bit while I ate.  But the computer was off.  So I booted it up and when it came on, the time in the lower right corner said…. 4:45.  Yeah, apparently the power went off and my bedside clock was wrong due to that.  My clock doesn’t blink after losing power.  Leading to a night of time confusion for me!  I really thought it was like the longest night ever!  Plus, I thought the dreaming about going through buffet lines quite funny too.  After Rick got up to check on me as I finished my banana, I explained to him my time confusion and then we went back to bed for a few more hours of sleep.

At a loss

I’m at a loss of what to write about now. Plus, add to that I’m incredibly tired all the time. All I want to do is go home and nap. Makes it difficult to be motivated to work. But I’ve had plenty of that to do this week too! Plus next week I get to physically move offices. That ought to be fun! And I’ve dealt with a sick husband this week. He does seem to be improving. So much so he tried to go into work today. But I had to take him home at lunch because his body was still tired. I haven’t talked to him since then, but I’ll be headed home soon and will check on him as soon as I get there!

Anyway, we’re still here, and we’re still holding on. Symptoms seem not as severe. Except for the exhausted part. I still have that. But I seem to be much less nauseas than I had been. Maybe I’ve figured out how to control it, or maybe that symptom is just going away. My RE told me not to be alarmed about disappearing symptoms, so I try not to overanalyze it much and just enjoy the fact that I’ve not been that nauseas.

Oh ETA – Wednesday night several infertility bloggers in North Alabama got together for dinner to talk about the support group we’re trying to form. It’s called WAITT, which stands for We’re All In This Together. We had a great time! Present were Becky, Kellie, and Sharah. Kellie gave us all a beautiful Willow Tree Hope figurine. I have to admit that I’ve seen this figurine before, told my husband how much I’d like to have one, but how it wasn’t the same if I bought it myself. So now I don’t have to! They all three are wonderful women and I can’t wait til we get together again. Soon we’ll start distributing flyers around to get the word out. This is exciting indeed!

Smudge photos

By popular demand, I give you smudge photos. There’s not much to see yet, but here they all are! There are 5 under the cut. The first shows the CRL and the third one shows the heartrate. The others are just other views.

Oh and as an update to yesterday’s, my progesterone is fine so I don’t have to worry about supplementing that.

Quick update

We have a smudge!  And the little smudge has a heartbeat.  I’m 6w0d today, measuring at 6w1d, so that’s good.  The heartbeat was at a decent rate (111 bpm) for 6 weeks.  My corpus luteum was measuring a bit small, so they’re running a progesterone test to make sure I have good levels of that.  If I do not, then I will have to supplement.  If the levels are good, then we will carry on as we have been.  So all in all, not a whole lot to worry about.  I will go back in 2 weeks for a follow-up ultrasound.  If everything is still looking good then, our chance of loss is in the single digits according to my RE.  So yet another two week wait!  I do feel much better after this one appt. though.

New look, again

I just can’t decide how I want this site to look!  😉  WordPress added a new theme for wp.com blogs and I liked it!  So I changed my theme to the new one, called freshy.  I uploaded a new header picture too.  This one is a portion of a photo I took a while back of some crocheted flowers I’d made.  I still haven’t decided what to do with all of those flowers!

Still here

Yep, I’m still here. Still pregnant. If I make it through the day, then I will have exceeded my first and longest pregnancy. So that hurdle is within reach! Otherwise, not much to report on. I’ve not been sick, really. Though I do feel a bit bad in the mornings. I can only stomach about 1 cup of coffee, maybe a little more. Which is ok, because I don’t need much more than that anyway (no more than 3 is recommended by most docs, haven’t asked mine about it). Still tired a lot. Going to bed around 9:00 pm! I know crazy early! 😉 But I’m waking up before the alarm most days, which annoys me still. Today wasn’t too bad though. I slept til 5:45, so only 15 mins. before the alarm. Yesterday I was awake at 4!

I thought I’d link a couple of other places I go for support. You know, other than blogging and talking with friends who know. One is the sheknows Femara board. I’ve not really hung around the other boards on sheknows, but I’m sure they’re all just as supportive as the Femara board has been. The other place I like to go is Babyfit.com‘s mommyteams Infertility team. Again, I haven’t poked around the other teams there, but I’m sure they’re all great!

And in closing, I will leave a new ticker. This is the same one as before, but with the “humor” version instead of just the developmental. The humor saying for week 5 really cracked me up!

Another Hurdle

I’m officially past the time when I lost the baby last Fall. A few more days and I will pass the point I got to in my first pregnancy May 2005. Geof was right in his comment in another post. I have many hurdles to get through. Especially in this early period. Any pregnancy lost before 6 weeks is a chemical pregnancy. It’s not even clinically considered a pregnancy. Which irritates me on some level, but it is what it is. In May 2005, well June by the end of it, I made it to 5.5 weeks. Today I am 5 weeks even. If I make it another week I will finally be considered pregnant in the medical world. But first, I have to pass the hurdle set up by my longest pregnancy. I think I can do it!

semantics

I want to start this post off by saying this is not meant to insult or hurt anybody. But is more meant to be used as a guideline for how not to irritate me. If that makes sense.

Now, we all know that women like to share experiences. I think this is great. Sharing experiences helps us to learn. But, if you tell me, “Just you wait..” that’s going to irritate the heck out of me. That is like telling me how I may feel about something, and is often a bit condescending to me. I really dislike being told how I will feel, physically or emotionally. I also do not like being told what I will want or need. Even if I really do need it. If you tell me, “you’re going to need such and such gadget for such and such reason,” I’m going to want to push the other direction. If instead you tell me, “What worked for me is this thing for whatever reason,” I will take that much better. There you’re telling me how you got through whatever problem without specifically telling me what to do. It is probably common sense that no one wants to be told what to like, want, need, or feel. Those are all things that we all have to figure out for ourselves. What worked for you may not work for me. How you felt at a certain event, I may feel differently. I think we often dispense the advice in such a way without meaning to. And I don’t think anyone says these things to be condescending. But it does come off that way. At least to me. Hence the reason for this post. Obviously, if I specifically ask for advice that is different. But, if I am complaining about something, then you can tell me what worked for you, and I can figure out on my own if it will work for me.

Again, I don’t want anyone to think I’m attacking or singling them out. Just know that even if I may take such statements with a smile and a nod multiple times, it bugs me enough that someday my patience may wear thin and I won’t take it as well as I usually do. I am trying to avoid that possibility by telling everyone now what gets to me. Thanks for taking my feelings on these things into consideration.

more comfortable

I’m a bit more comfortable with the idea of discontinuing use of the baby aspirin. I don’t have a real reason to take it. I tested negative for APA. Looking at that site though, I’m not entirely sure what all was tested there. But that is a common reason to take low dose aspirin in the first trimester. So I guess it makes sense that I don’t need it. So I’m more comfortable with that decision, once I moved past the initial fear! 😉

In other news, I’m doing pretty well. At 4w3d, there’s not many symptoms to report on. My nausea seems to have calmed down some. Which makes me think that earlier this week the nausea was made worse by nerves. I still feel yucky at times, just not nearly as badly. I combated it some yesterday by just keeping something on my stomach at all times. That probably helped a lot too. I’m still incredibly tired, barely able to keep my eyes open by mid-afternoon and falling asleep watching tv at night. Only to wake up at 5-5:30 every morning without being able to go back to sleep, despite the fact that my alarm doesn’t go off until 6. That annoys me. If I’m going to be so sleepy all of the time, shouldn’t I be able to sleep through the night? I’m not counting potty breaks in that though. I understand that I will have to get up to pee. That’s ok. Usually I can fall asleep after that. But this waking up at 5:00 and not falling back asleep is killing me!

Oh to see a heartbeat in another week and a half! This is a different kind of two week wait, but just as tortuous to me!